Be Heard and Be Trusted

Don’t Miss Your Life AND Expand Success

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 14 May 2012 07:52:36 +0000

Make time for family and friends--and feel refreshed

Recently, I read an article by a billionaire who said he knew of no one with a successful family life and big success in business. Really?! Maybe he’s ONLY speaking of himself. To enhance multiple parts of your life, we’ll use the A.S.K. process:

A – ask “What would make this a ‘10′?”
S – start nurturing yourself
K – keep your family as important as clients

1. Ask “What would make this a ‘10′?”

How do you know what’s important to your loved one? Ask them. Pick a topic like a recent get-together and ask, “On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 as the highest — how did the event go for you? What number would you give it?” Perhaps, they say, “It was a 5.” Then ask, “What would make it a 10?” Many of us are afraid to hear the first number. But if you get some information, then you have the chance to make things better.

It could be something as simple as a request that you turn off your cell phone for the one hour during a lunch appointment.

2. Start nurturing yourself

Have you ever felt guilty that you were irritable among your family? It often means that you need to nurture yourself. I make sure to get at least one hour each day to have quiet time away from family and others. Why? I need to recharge and nurture myself. It can be as simple as soaking in a hot bath and reading a book for recreation.

There have been times when I get that one hour before I travel to teach graduate students in the morning. Other times, I have had that one hour away from others — in the evening.

Even just ten minutes in your car listening to soothing music (before one faces children at dinner time, for example) can help.

3. Keep your family as important as clients

I once heard about a tragic pattern: A working mother had her mind on work when with her children and her mind on her children when at work.

One useful plan is to schedule time with your family members as if they are clients. Be careful about your time. Be slow to make promises. And be sure to keep the promises you make. For example, a number of people would like me to read their screenplays, stories and other work. I am slow to say “yes.” I read plenty of material when I’m teaching graduate students and college students. If I agree to read something, I might say, “I’ll read the first two pages of your screenplay.” I’m careful about my time commitments. Why? I need time for my family and I need time for myself to recharge.

For many top professionals, it helps to note all appointments with family and work in one day planner or PDA. Then you can avoid double-booking.

Here’s a secret: When you take care of yourself and those people you love, you come back to work refreshed. There is no time lost here. You actually have gained time — because you return with great efficiency.

It’s all good.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux, author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

2) Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Have Good Timing and Take Appropriate Risks: Your Launch Pad for Success

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 07 May 2012 05:29:10 +0000

Going beyond caution to something impressive . . .

How can you have good timing to launch something new in your life? How do you choose the appropriate risks to take? We’ll use the T.I.M.E. process:

T – target feelings
I – intuit
M – move
E – express

1. Target feelings

Why do we do anything? Researchers note that on some level our real target is related to feelings. Ask a number people “what do you want?” and you’ll likely hear: a) “I’d like ___ to stop” and b) “I don’t like how I have to ____.” Often the first comments are related to getting relief from some uncomfortable feelings.

Let’s explore further. View this pattern:

Question: What do you want?
Mark: To win the lottery.
* And why is that important?
Mark: Then I can do whatever I want. I can quit my day job!
* And what do you want to do?
Mark: Oh, travel.
* And what’s fun about traveling?
Mark: Uh, seeing new sights. Learning about different cultures.
* And why is that interesting?
Mark: It’s fun. I’ll feel . . .

Ahhh, yes. It’s about feeling something.

If you’re thinking about doing something new, go to the heart of things. Ask yourself: What do I want to feel? Use that as an important part of finding your direction.

2. Intuit

Let’s face it. Things can be complicated and we rarely have enough information, data or evidence to know exactly what to do. Some scientists have noted that intuition includes receiving input on a subconscious level. Many leaders, including CEOs, who make good decisions admit that they were guided “by gut feelings.”

The important thing to do is to make space for your intuition. (More about intuition is in my book Nothing Can Stop You This Year! (free chapter at Amazon.com).

How do you make space for your intuition? If you don’t need to decide today, give yourself time to think and feel your way through and around the issue. And, you can say, “I’m not sure about that yet. Let’s talk this afternoon. I may have some thoughts about it then.”

3. Move

Find ways to move about and explore facets of what you’re considering. Take a walk. Converse with connections on Facebook. Visit different parts of the city or town where you live. Listen and observe everything. Many times, we get that sudden insight while we’re away from the office. On a trip in Vienna, Ruth Handler, creator of the Barbie doll, discovered a doll called Bild-Lilli. She brought it back to America and redesigned the doll to American sensibilities. I remember Ruth’s comment: “My whole philosophy of Barbie was that through the doll, the little girl could be anything she wanted to be. Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices.”

Start something and move through it. For example, some months ago my team started preparing to make science fiction websiodes entitled TIMEPULSE (based on my book TimePulse: Beyond Titanic (9 free chapters at Amazon.com)

Recently, while in a recording session for a different film project, the idea arose to make the webisodes animated. That unlocked the floodgates of creativity. Before, when thinking of live action and computer generated special effects, as the producer, I was juggling budget, casting, and schedules. Now, I start with wild and creative ideas. Showing a young woman who has dragon wings? — No problem! And we’re making a graphic novel and the webisodes with the same artwork! Yes!

4. Express

I often discover how I really feel about something by engaging in dialogue with those people in my inner circle. I like hearing various viewpoints. But it is not always about their comments. It is more important for me to listen to myself. I’ll say new things that will suddenly resonate with myself on a heart-level and a gut-level.

Often, to make big strides for success, we seek to have good timing, to make good decisions and take appropriate risks. Remember:

T – target feelings
I – intuit
M – move
E – express

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux, author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

2) Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

** Image with this article is by Tom Marcoux.

Reduce Stress — You Know You Want to . . .

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:05:05 +0000

Are you ready for bumpy times? Can you reduce your stress?

I’ll put it in a few words: our mouths cause us so much needless stress. Let’s take this further. Imagine if your personal brand included: “Good listener.” (By the way, your personal brand is your answer to this question: “What are you best known for?”)

What would result if people perceived you as a good listener? Many of them would feel comfortable around you and they’d trust you. Research demonstrates that many of the best salespeople are the best listeners. To reduce stress, we’ll use the L.E.S.S. process:

L – listen
E – ease up
S – select Criteria for Excellence
S – sidestep resistance

1. Listen

I have a relative who couldn’t listen to another person if his life depended on it. It’s tragic really. This person misses so much of what is warm and genuine in life. And imagine what his family misses, too. This guy has only one friend. He’s dropped everyone else. And they’re probably saying, “Thank you. Thank you!”

On the other hand, people who listen well often find that people like them and offer them more opportunities.

The central element of listening is restraining yourself from making reactive comments. Pause. See if you can make space for the person to experience what he or she is feeling. Even saying something as simple as “That sounds frustrating,” can give the person an opportunity to relax. If we do not give the other person space to be heard, then he or she feels a tension to prove the self right. You reduce stress by listening and thus eliminating such tension.

I’ve noticed that certain times I have felt upset as an elderly relative denied that I was under pressure. One person likes to say, “You chose that.” Sure, I’ve chosen to run businesses, but I did not resign from the human race and eliminate feeling pressure. A simple comment like: “That sounds rough. How did things go for you?” would be helpful.

2. Ease up

Some people try too hard. You can see them straining. The best actors “make it look easy.” In my book Darkest Secrets of Making A Pitch for Film and Television (free chapters on Amazon.com) , I write about one of my methods to relax before I give a pitch. I tell myself: “Let’s see if they want to play.” That’s part of my process to “ease up.”

The idea of “want to play” brings the interaction out of the emotional brain’s perception of “life or death.”

Another part of “ease up” is to relax and let the other person say what he or she needs to say first. When two people meet and talk, each one wants to express personal thoughts and feelings. When you let the other person go first, you eliminate tension. Then the person is likely to be more receptive to hearing you. This reduces stress.

3. Select Criteria for Excellence

Being a perfectionist is stressful! I know this when I try to be so compassionate and kind to everyone I meet. But sometimes I fall short because I’m distracted. There is a solution: instead of aiming for perfection, aim for excellence. What is excellence? You decide. Set up your own Criteria for Excellence. For example, I train my graduate students in my public speaking class to focus on this idea: “We do not need you to be perfect; we do need you to be genuine.” When you aim to be a real human being and express some truth (at least something that is true to you), you can take some of the pressure off. You do not need to pronounce each word perfectly. You focus on talking to the audience — and not at them.

If your mind goes blank for a moment, you can say, “I’ll need a moment. My brain needs more RAM.” And then the audience (at least in Silicon Valley) will enjoy the human moment and the humor.

4. Sidestep resistance

Resistance and conflict cause more and more stress. What if you could avoid needless resistance? How would your life improve?

Here’s the big opportunity. Add this to your personal brand: “effective storyteller.” How do you avoid a lot of needless resistance? Tell a vivid, to-the-point story.

Do not start by making some biased, blanket statement. Instead, tell a story. Give the audience (which can be one co-worker or a group in a room) an experience. Tell what you learned. It helps to end your story with something like: “So that day, I learned to pay attention to the little things because they can really trip you up — if you’re not careful.”

You can really reduce your stress, when you focus on these 4 elements:

L – listen
E – ease up
S – select Criteria for Excellence
S – sidestep resistance

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux, author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

2) Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

** Image with this article is by Johanna E. Mac Leod.

Put Yourself Where You’ll Feel Good

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 05:21:52 +0000

Imagine feeling great -- here's someone who knows how!

My cat is a master of being in the right place at the right time to feel good. If he wants to be somewhere else like on the balcony and sitting in his favorite spot, he “speaks up.” Soon I open the sliding door and he glides over to where he feels good.

We could learn something from this “enjoyment master.”

Do you stop to think about where you really feel good?

Is it -

* at a particular friend’s home,
* walking in the woods,
* soaking in a hot bath,
* reading in your favorite chair?

My cat also changes his position. If I’m scratching his neck he goes from standing on all fours to laying flat down. All the better to relax. I know he’s enjoying himself as he closes his eyes and purrs.

On the other hand, I spent years never letting discomfort slow me down. But I did not realize that I was losing energy to “overcoming discomfort.” Recently, I have been more discerning about how I use energy. Letting myself stay in an uncomfortable situation merely drains my vital energy. That’s something to stop!

Observe yourself and how you feel in different places and various situations.

When you want more success and to feel happy more often, you need to guard your energy. The first thing to do is become aware of your patterns.

There’s another element about placing yourself where you’ll feel good: Identify where you feel bad. And spend as little time there as possible.

I understand that we all have obligations but a full life is NOT merely about obligations. If you see a cantankerous elderly relative for one hour and you maintain good cheer — that is likely better than three hours in which you’re a wreck of upset feelings.

I always remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s comment: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.”

Make choices for yourself — set to your own standards.

Do not aim for anyone’s approval. My thought is: Approval is an occasional dessert.

Identify your own “criteria for excellence.” Filmmakers discover often that they do their best and somehow the marketplace is either not ready or not interested in some of their work. So be it.

Still, the filmmaker can ask herself: “Did I learn something with that film? Did I have moments of feeling exhilarated while making that film?” So she can “put herself where she feels good.”

And that’s a great plan.

Warmly,

Tom

Author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

2) Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

** Image with this article is by Johanna E. Mac Leod.

Titanic – What You Can Learn to Improve Your Life

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 03:06:30 +0000

Image of Titanic from cover of "TimePulse: Beyond Titanic" by Tom Marcoux

Titanic sank 100 years ago to this day (April 15th). I saw TITANIC 3D yesterday, and the experience has me keyed up so I’m writing about what we can learn from the disaster so that we can improve our own lives — now. We’ll use the C.A.N. process

C – concentrate on the Crucial Detail
A- actualize to makeup for human errors
N – notice possibilities for a “perfect storm”

1. Concentrate on the Crucial Detail

It’s reported that Bruce Ismay, chairman of the White Star Line, convinced Captain Edward Smith to speed up so that Titanic would arrive early in New York. Making headlines was not the Crucial Detail — safety was! Why did Captain Smith agree? Did he want to (as the film has a line of dialogue) “retire with a bang”?

Let’s continue with the Crucial Detail of safety. A proper focus on safety would require enough lifeboats and that focus would override any concern about prosperous passengers finding the deck “too cluttered” with lifeboats. That’s the power of focusing on a Crucial Detail — you put aside lesser concerns.

Whenever you begin a project or find yourself in a tough situation, ask yourself: What is the Crucial Detail here? Additional questions can include:

* If something goes wrong, how could people get hurt?
* If the worst thing happens, how can I avoid most damage or reduce damage?
* Do I need some help and other people’s viewpoints, so that I have prepared for possible problems?

And about Titanic: they were going into an ice field. What’s the Crucial Detail?– Slow down!

2. Actualize to makeup for human errors

People make mistakes everyday. Recently, I was on a Los Angeles freeway. One car moved to cut off my driver. Watching traffic, I spoke up and my driver avoided an accident. I had been watching out for the safety of our car and other cars. That’s what I call “actualize to makeup for human errors” — that is, take action to compensate for possible errors. To do that you need to think through what can go wrong and to identify what you personally can do to avoid bad consequences. Then you need to actually take the required action.

3. Notice possibilities for a “perfect storm”

Many historians report that there was an unlikely compounding of errors that led to the Titanic disaster. I’ll call it a “perfect storm” — which is sometimes defined as “a confluence of events that drastically aggravates a situation.”

Here are just some of the elements that added up to disaster:

1) speeding through the ice field
2) a captain who had no experience with big trouble during his whole career
3) no binoculars for the lookouts
4) an inadequate rudder (too small for such a large ship)
5) a flat calm so there was no breaking water to make the iceberg more visible
6) a fire in a coal bunker that may have weakened the hull and aided the destruction of the vessel
7) second rate rivets that were made of high levels of slag that may have made the iron brittle
7a. watertight compartments that only went up to E deck
9) and more . . .

So what can a captain do? Slow down and give the crew more time to deal with anything that may arise.

To do something extraordinary, you will need to stretch and grow. And take great care.

Remember:

C – concentrate on the Crucial Detail
A- actualize for human errors
N – notice possibilities for a “perfect storm”

Think things through. Consult learned people to get more valuable viewpoints.

Above all, have the humility to approach a situation with the understanding that as a human being you may not be perceiving (in that moment) all of the vital details.

Get help ahead of time.

Along these lines, I study each day to prepare myself to do the best in tough situations. My friends tease me for reading lots of books (85 books in 2011). I’m motivated to study — because I’ve endured some horrible situations. In fact, I’ve put many of the lessons to work in my series of books Darkest Secrets . . . How to Protect Yourself (free chapters at Amazon.com ). Basically, I’ve trained myself to perceive more because I’ve studied hundreds of case histories about how professionals have made the best of tough situations. Recently, someone asked me to summarize what I do. I replied, “I offer people strength and self-protection through my books, speeches and workshops.”

Let’s remember the lessons of Titanic and sail forward into a better tomorrow.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. Related to the Titanic, as an author I wanted to see Mr. and Mrs. Strauss and John Jacob Astor “live again” in my book TimePulse: Beyond Titanic (See 8 free chapters at Amazon.com).

Author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

2) Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

** Image of Titanic with this article is part of the cover of TimePulse: Beyond Titanic by Tom Marcoux. This image is rendered by Lindsay Morita.**

Caution! Don’t Read This. It May Make You Happy.

Tom Marcoux — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 07:25:44 +0000

Are you letting the light in?

Are you living at your best? Some people don’t realize what’s at the foundation of success and fulfillment. Energy and capacity. We’ll use the O.N. process:

O – open to the value of happiness
N – nurture your “being”

1. Open to the value of happiness

Some people I know say, “To live a holy life is more important than being happy.” Okay–I hear that this is their viewpoint. They tell me that they’re focused on duty and don’t have the time to even see a comedic movie on DVD.

I want to add to this conversation that the people who have given me trouble were miserable either as a lifestyle or in that particular moment. And I’ve noticed that sometimes when I was feeling upset or some significant loss, that I lacked patience and may have spoken in an irritated tone. That did nothing good to nurture my interaction with another person.

My point is that taking good care of yourself as if you were your own best friend is valuable. Be sure to have some happy moments each day. Why? Because you increase your capacity to perform well and to be patient with others and yourself.

Now, we get to how this article “may make you happy.”

One of my favorite phrases is: “Happiness is something to do, someone to love and something to hope for.” I invite you to develop these areas of your life.

One of my focus-points is writing books to help people develop capacity and strength. That’s why I have written 6 books in my Darkest Secrets . . . How to Protect Yourself series (free chapters from all 6 books are at Amazon.com). The topics include persuasion, seduction, negotiation, staying spiritually strong, film directing, acting and the new book Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television (see 2 free chapters)

When I write these books, I feel happy. How? I have something to do, I am acting loving toward my readers and I have the hope to assist people to improve their lives.

2. Nurture your “being”

Some people look for love to fulfill some hole in their life. On the other hand, imagine living with the stance of “I am love.” The idea is that you’re not looking for something to fill emptiness. Instead, you’re living from “wholeness” — you are simply a loving being acting in loving ways.

To let this “I am love” part of yourself naturally flow, you need capacity. That brings us back to my point that you need to be open to the value of happiness.

I know some individuals who wear a metaphorical “martyr’s badge” — they’re so busy trying to be perfect and rubbing other people’s nose in how they’re so burdened– that the “martyr’s badge-person” is miserable.

Stop that! Misery not only loves company. Misery creates company. It’s like a social disease that propagates from one person to another.

Fortunately, there is an alternative: Happiness in one person flows to other people who are nearby. Focus on clearing clutter and overwhelming facets of your life — so you can be happy.

Take care of yourself. There is true value in this . . . for all of us.

Warmly,

Tom

Author of 12 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

**Image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**

Make the Most of Your Life

Tom Marcoux — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 21:14:01 +0000

Tom Marcoux in Action Scene on Hollywood street. (David MacDowell Blue wields the cane.)

Are you doing something you enjoy each week? Recently, while in Hollywood, I choreographed an action scene (yes, that’s me in the photo–doing the martial arts move . . . you can see the Hollywood sign on the hill — if you squint). It felt like coming home. Here’s how you can bring more success and joy to your life. We’ll use the I.N. process:

I – intensify
N – nurture

1. Intensify

Too many of us get so busy that we let what we love to do just drift away. Instead, find a way to focus on what makes you glad to be alive. Find some way to engage with something creative (like I did while in Hollywood). I devote a lot of my time toward being a producer and writer (in honor of this month April’s observance of the 100th anniversary of the Titanic Disaster, I wrote a book in which many people known because of Titanic live on in my “alternative history/science fiction” book TimePulse: Beyond Titanic. See 8 free chapters on Amazon.com ).

Then, I “intensified” my life by coming back to directing and action scene choreography in the last couple of days. What a joy! It’s like going swimming if you’ve been away from a swimming pool — and you really enjoyed swimming in earlier days.

2. Nurture

When I talk about “nurture,” I’m focusing on two things 1) take care of yourself to have more energy and 2) enrich your creative pursuit.

To do something more than going to work and then collapsing on the coach, you need energy. So get more sleep, exercise and eat nutritious foods. Basic — yes. And also essential so that you have the capacity to do your creative pursuit.

Secondly, nurture your experience of your creative pursuit. For example, to do the action scene I had people with me who helped me do better work — including a great actor, David MacDowell Blue, and one of my favorite camerapeople.

To make the most of your life, remember to dive back into some creative pursuit you love. You’ll feel new energy coursing though your veins; you’ll have a big smile; and people will enjoy being near you.

Warmly,

Tom

Author of 11 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

**Image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**

Unleash Your Power to Succeed through Empowering Questions

Tom Marcoux — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 07:04:22 +0000

Speak up for yourself and watch your success bloom.

What would help you the most? — to increase your income, joy, and fulfillment? The right questions will help you tap into your hidden truth. As a coach, one of the best things that I do is to provide the right questions to help a client find his or her personal answer. We’ll use the A.S.K. process:

A – align
S – simplify
K – kindle support

1. Align

Ask yourself: “How am I out of alignment with my personal joy?”

If you do not have happy moments each day, something is not working. Years ago, I worked in a job that had nothing to do with my best skills or my talents. The job was merely for paying the rent. But each day, I aligned myself with gratitude. As I took my morning shower, I told myself, “I’m grateful for the prosperity of this job” and I continued through identifying 10 Blessings. Each morning I felt better about the blessings in my life.

And still, by asking “How am I out of alignment with my personal joy?” I looked for ways to improve my work life. Things got better. To this day, I ask myself: “How can I demonstrate to the world, in some way, my talent and how I do something valuable?” These questions have led to taking appropriate risks and having many positive adventures.

2. Simplify

An old phrase is: “If anyone says life is not tough, they’re either selling you something or delusional.” Yes–life can be complicated with all of us facing a lot of obligations and onerous tasks. Here’s a vital question: “What is the Crucial Detail here?”

It’s really easy to be distracted and to miss the point. Sometimes, it helps to ask yourself a series of questions, which can lead to your personal Crucial Detail.

Ask some writers, and you might hear something like this:

* What do you want?
To write books.

* What do you get from writing books?
A feeling of purpose–to be serving people.

* What’s below that?
I like it! I like thinking, exploring, playing with ideas, expressing how I feel and what’s important to me — and what life has given me opportunities to learn.

* What’s below that?
I feel Alive when writing — and reading the work aloud to my sweetheart.

When you find something that helps you feel Alive!–then you’ve uncovered a Crucial Detail. Devote energy there!

3. Kindle support

Ask yourself: Who are my Believing Mirrors? A believing mirror is someone who believes in you and your talent. They know that you can rise to the occasion and express something true and worthy. They show you a “mirror” of how great you can be.

Be careful. Some of the people you really wish were a believing mirror (a friend, a family member, a spouse) may NOT be a believing mirror. Then do NOT go to them for support. Find people who truly support you. Ask yourself: “Am I just wishing this person would support me? Are they somehow incapable of being kind and supportive of me? Is it time to find my support elsewhere?”

I know someone who is a snob about writing. And perhaps, she cuts down other writers because she is merely frustrated that she does not finish anything. There’s space in this world for sit-coms, straight-forward prose and literary novels. All writing does not need to be “sophisticated.” In any case, I suggest you avoid people like that. This is different than getting intense but constructive feedback. For example, I hire tough editors who push me to make my books better. A good writer and a good athlete welcome “tough but good coaching.”

Find your believing mirrors — be kind to them. Bask in their support. Express your appreciation for them. They are true blessings in your life.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach
Author of 11 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Tom’s blog: www.BeHeardandBeTrusted.com

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Additional book by Tom Marcoux:

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

**Image with this article photographed by Tom Marcoux**

Find Your Hidden Power to Bounce Back

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 07:01:52 +0000

How can you "flow" to an empowered mood?

If someone said something vicious to you, do you have a quick way to protect your own energy and morale? We’ll use the I.T. process:

I – inquire
T – target your transition

1. Inquire

Let’s start with a question: “What’s your transition?” By transition, I’m talking about your personal way to move out of a bad mood into an empowered mood. Successful people have flexibility. They don’t let one thing create a “bad day.” Why? Because they want to get a lot accomplished today! A bad mood slows you down.

What are our tools to get back to an empowered mood? Thoughts and movement.

When Dr. Fred Luskin and I were both guest experts on a television show, he mentioned, “Forgiveness is the ending a cycle of blame and suffering.”

I have taken this idea to heart. This came in handy just a couple of days ago. The elderly relative of someone I know said something vicious to me.

So how to stop the suffering?

* I stepped away from the rigid, inconsiderate person.
* I thought through the situation.
– What can I learn here?
– Would this person be rude to anyone else in a similar situation? (Ahh! There’s an insight. It’s time to not take this personally.)
– Does this person care at all about my view? (No. So it’s better to place my time and efforts elsewhere.)

Now, let’s look at movement.

Soon after I drove some distance away from the person’s home and took a walk. Afterward, I was refreshed.

2. Target your transition

When I say “target,” I mean aim for getting yourself to move through a personal process to get back to an empowered mood.

The important thing about “targeting” is that you need to do some preparation.

Think through what steps help you.

Remember movement. Perhaps, taking a walk would help.

Some people go to a room, close the door, blast some music and dance or do some other form of exercise.

Two things are going on here. We’re talking about salvaging the rest of your day — so a bad mood does not cripple you and your productivity.

The other thing to discuss is whether some unhealthy patterns exist and whether professional help is appropriate. If someone abuses you, get away and get help.

However, I’m really talking here about the smaller everyday upsets when people’s personalities bump against each other.

The truth is: Many people I have met do not seem to have big goals and the desire to squeeze each day like an orange–to get the juice. Those individuals are okay with holding grudges and saying, “Then Sarah said ___. It ruined my whole day.”

But that is NOT for you.

You can learn your personal ways to make a transition from a bad mood to an empowered mood–and your life can be so much better for it!

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach
Author of 11 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Additional book by Tom Marcoux:

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

**Image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**

Your Important Step for Real Success

Tom Marcoux — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 07:01:11 +0000

Have you faced the truth and put a stamp on your world?

“I know what to do, but I’m just not doing it,” one of my clients lamented. You can leap to a higher level of success if you learn how to face difficult truths. We’ll use the R.E.A.L. process:

R – reflect
E – embrace
A – act
L – listen

1. Reflect

What’s not working in your life? Focus on this question: “What truth must I face?” Take a couple of moments right now with a sheet of paper and note some difficulties This is about “the truth must you face.” The idea is to focus on “what I would prefer to be different.”

I use the word “prefer” with care. Some things are a process. I may prefer that everything happen quickly (right now!) with my project entitled TimePulse (to debut as a trilogy of science fiction feature films or a TV series). But it takes time, effort and restructuring to make something on a high level of excellence.

A number of personal coaches focus on the idea “tolerate nothing.” Their idea is that if you do not like the clutter in your home office, stop tolerating it. Take incremental action to clear things out.

I’ll give you an example. It once took me a 30 minute session on 14 days in a row to type up material (and rewrite it as I went along) from a 2-CD set I had recorded. When you reflect and make yourself aware of something that you want to change, settle in to working on it a bit–everyday.

2. Embrace

Embrace yourself as a human being with some tendencies you don’t like. For example, I simply would prefer to write a new book than to do some marketing tasks. I love “making things.” And still, I embrace my foibles and hire contractors to do some things. Get someone who is better at some task (perhaps, a tax preparer) than you are to do the task. For example, I have a friend who hired a gardener for $35.00 per month to keep the green areas around his home presentable. This was a good idea because my friend could devote his attention to other areas where his skills and talents were better used.

3. Act

Act. Don’t wait to “feel like it.” I make a distinction between “want to do” and “feel like it.” For example, I often want to complete writing a book–but I may not feel like it. As a professional writer, I have the discipline to sit down and write, regardless of how I’m feeling. I do not wait for inspiration. Inspiration happens while I’m writing.

4. Listen

Once you get a message about what truth you must face, you need to do something unusual: Listen. I’m not saying agree immediately. This is about being coachable. If you won’t let any new information in, you cannot improve the situation.

It’s amazing sometimes how many friends and family members have advice for us. But here’s the truth: You have the answer you need. Start by asking the empowering questions:

1. What truth must I face?
2. How can I make incremental progress?
3. How can I clear something from my life and create breathing room for myself?

Then answer yourself. Bring your answers to your calendar, PDA, or day planner: Schedule your tasks.

Facing the truth is a crucial step for real success and fulfillment.

Warmly,

Tom

Author of 11 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

**Image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**