Beware of Friends’ Conventional Thinking: Your Success is on YOUR Path

September 5th, 2011

18 Comments

What? That's unconventional!

“My friends keep telling me that it’s not possible,” Jenny said to her brother Stephen. We need to remember that when someone says, “It’s not possible,” they may be only talking about themselves. You need to decouple yourself from your friends’ conventional thinking. We’ll use the H.O.W. process:

H – honor your heart’s desire
O – open your eyes to the unconventional
W – wander through possibilities

1. Honor your heart’s desire

When a friend says something is not possible for you to accomplish, what are they doing? Now, that is a good question. Maybe they’re trying to protect you from a big disappointment. Let’s face it. Disappointments arrive in life no matter what we’re doing. But the bigger pain comes from thinking: “I could’ve tried that. I’ll never know what good things may have happened if I only had the courage to try something new.”

Start a new way of thinking. Don’t just focus on how much money you can make. Start thinking of “units of life.” Some things that we do create more positive energy. A poet may write poetry her whole life and make zero money from poetry — but how much is her own smile worth? If you’re her son, it’s worth a lot. One because you love her and two because she spends less time being angry.

What brings more positive energy to your life? What is an expression of your heart’s desire?

2. Open your eyes to the unconventional

Let’s look at some conventional things that a friend may say:

* That won’t make any money
How do they know? Numerous people thought that Disneyland would fail. Before that, several people called Walt Disney’s first animated feature film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs “Disney’s folly.” Well, they were wrong! Think about it. From “Disney’s Folly” to Walt Disney World and now a multi-billion dollar entertainment empire. Thank goodness, Walt Disney had the guts to listen to his own heart and press beyond conventional thinking. (Yes, I have been to Disney Resorts, including the Disney Cruise, several times with my family.)

* You’ll be wasting your time
Again, how does the friend know? I was the lead singer of a rock band in the 80’s. But now I still go into the recording studio to produce movie soundtrack music and music for my audio programs like Be Heard and Be Trusted and Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Goodlisten to previews on iTunes.com ). I was not wasting my time in the recording studio. I was learning so much about music. When I direct a film, I know how to communicate with a film music composer. You never know what past experience you can apply to your next project — or next phase of life.

* Would you just concentrate on one thing?
People who did more than one thing were called Renaissance people. They explored many fields. In college, I had a double-major: psychology and television production. And to this day, I’m working in both fields with non-fiction books and feature films. And I truly enjoy the variety! It fires me up! I’m energized. The same goes for my writing. I’m writing fiction and non-fiction each day. I bounce back and forth. What fun! [Here is the important distinction: be sure to finish projects. Because I finish projects, I'm one of the least frustrated artists I know. For example, my new audio novel LIVING is now available online here at TomSuperCoach.com .

* I've never seen (a movie, a book, a song, etc.) like that before
Fine. If you have not seen it, it could be fresh. No one truly knows what the market will accept or cherish at a given moment. Science fiction author Greg Bear told me that it took 10 years before the audience found one of his books. So be it. Stay in the game. Put yourself into your work. Honor your voice. Many authors focusing on the field of acting note that a turning point occurred when Marlon Brando brought a new realism with his form of acting. People complained: "He's mumbling." But others said, "He's so real!" Numerous actors were influenced by Marlon Brando: James Dean, Montgomery Cliff, Martin Sheen and more.

You may be starting something new and great.

3. Wander through possibilities

During one of my classes with my graduate students each semester, I draw (on the whiteboard) the trajectory of a number of people's careers. Although many of us would like a simple rising slope, a number of us have a big squiggle for the upward movement of our careers. There are times when we seem to be wandering off course. But in talking with my clients, I've noticed that often an "off course time" provides needed experience and wisdom.

Everything you have done counts and can be used for the next level of your life.

Author Debra Fine tells about how she began as a shy, heavy set child who was ostracized. Then she became an engineer, in part, to have a career that avoided much socializing. Then, in search of additional funds, she came to teach a class that later resulted in the book The Fine Art of Small Talk. She had no idea that a shy person (herself) would become an expert on socializing and networking.

Here's the important lesson. Welcome a bit of wandering through possibilities.

As author Joseph Campbell said, "We must be willing to relinquish the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

Remember to move beyond your friends' conventional thinking.

They truly do not know your best path -- that arises from your personal intuition.

Focus on:

H - honor your heart's desire
O - open your eyes to the unconventional
W - wander through possibilities

I've enjoyed so many unconventional opportunities.

Someone might describe my life as:

* from model to motivational speaker
* from karate instructor to communication coach
* from day camp teacher to rock band singer/keyboardist
* from graduate school instructor to motion picture director/actor/producer
* from shy kid to author of 7 books on Amazon.com [it takes courage to put your thoughts and feelings out there in the world. Trust me on this one.]

I have heard friends and family attempt to dissuade me from all of the above.

That’s fine. It’s not their life. I’m having a lot of fun with my own life.

How about you? What positive experiments in living do you want to try?

New opportunities are waiting to bloom for you – when you’re somewhat unconventional.

Warmly,

Tom

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Tom Marcoux is the photographer of the image with this article.)

P.S. Please consider bringing useful methods and skills to family, friends and even yourself with Tom’s 5 books at Amazon.com

New Kindle ebook (#1 on Amazon.com – Hot New Releases in Business Communication): Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

( at Amazon.com. Click here.) (see the Video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBNLAlcRiaY )

New Kindle ebook (#1 on Amazon.com – Hot New Releases in Business Communication): Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger and Turn the Power to Good

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Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

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How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd editionfree chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

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Categories: Double Your Sales, How to Be Trusted, Your Guide to Money and Abundance

18 Responses to “Beware of Friends’ Conventional Thinking: Your Success is on YOUR Path”

  1. Jason B. Says:
    September 5th, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    Tom, this is a great! I love the H.O.W. and also that you know that this is your life and you know whats best for you and don’t let what others think whats best for you affect your desicions in your desires and passions. That is complete and utter awesomeness!

    Thank you and Stay Strong,
    JB

  2. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 5th, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    Jason,
    about “Tom, this is a great! I love the H.O.W. and also that you know that this is your life and you know whats best for you and don’t let what others think whats best for you affect your desicions in your desires and passions. That is complete and utter awesomeness!
    Thank you and Stay Strong”

    Thank you. I really appreciate your catchphrase “Stay Strong”. Hey, you could write an ebook or book with that title.

    Jason, I went to your blog http://jbempowerment.wordpress.com/
    and I appreciate your comment “Dreams…..they are the forefront that should be held closely by your vision at all times! Keeping them as vivid as the sky is blue . . .”

    the best to you,
    Tom

  3. vibram five fingers Says:
    September 5th, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    Oh, that’s a good idea!

  4. Stanford Young Says:
    September 5th, 2011 at 11:25 PM

    Aloha Tom…know what you mean!
    Great article, those close to us are so quick to criticize and are often the “Naysayers” would respect their opinion if they could back it up through valid experience and documentation but it usually comes from 3rd party negative sources.
    Keep Up Your Great Work!

  5. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 6th, 2011 at 12:50 AM

    Stanford,
    about “Aloha Tom…know what you mean!
    Great article, those close to us are so quick to criticize and are often the “Naysayers” would respect their opinion if they could back it up through valid experience and documentation but it usually comes from 3rd party negative sources.
    Keep Up Your Great Work!”

    Thank you.
    Stanford, I went to your website http://www.HealthMax.Max4U.com
    and learned: “Max International® has the skin care solution you need – the Visible Solutions™ Skin Care System. Backed by years of research and formulated with the help of skin care experts and scientists, each component of the system utilizes a proprietary anti-aging formula for optimum skin health and vitality. ”

    the best to you,
    Tom

  6. iphone 5 leak Says:
    September 6th, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Hello there! This article couldn’t be composed any better! I’ll forward this article to my past roommate. Fairly certain he’ll enjoy it. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 7th, 2011 at 12:13 AM

    Hello “cat”,
    about “Hello there! This article couldn’t be composed any better! I’ll forward this article to my past roommate. Fairly certain he’ll enjoy it. Thanks for sharing!”

    thank you.
    a great day,
    Tom

  8. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 7th, 2011 at 12:14 AM

    Hello Zzj,
    about “Oh, that’s a good idea!”
    Thanks.
    many happy moments,
    Tom

  9. Mark Says:
    September 7th, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Very nice, i suggest webmaster can set up a forum, so that we can talk and communicate.

  10. Kirby Says:
    September 8th, 2011 at 10:17 AM

    I definitely knew about much of this, but however, I still thought it turned out useful. Fine work!

  11. Billie Says:
    September 9th, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    I actually knew about much of this, but however, I still considered it had been practical. Sweet job!

  12. Linda Chappo Says:
    September 9th, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    That was great, Tom! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight! You are always an inspiration.

  13. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Linda,
    about “That was great, Tom! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight! You are always an inspiration.”

    I went to your website http://hearttoheartliving.com/
    and saw your book Marry Yourself First: Your Key to Manifesting Loving Relationships.

    I enjoyed reading your book and have endorsed it
    at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Marry-Your-Self-First-ebook/dp/B004INHKFS/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1315638120&sr=8-5

    Congratulations on your great book.
    many joyful moments,
    Tom

  14. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Billie,
    about “I actually knew about much of this, but however, I still considered it had been practical. Sweet job!”

    Thank you.
    a great day,
    Tom

  15. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Mark,
    about “Very nice, i suggest webmaster can set up a forum, so that we can talk and communicate.”

    I hear you.
    This area for comments is the forum we use.
    many joyful moments,
    Tom

  16. le Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    I agree, a remarkable piece

  17. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    Le,
    about “I agree, a remarkable piece”

    Thank you.
    a great day,
    Tom

  18. Tom Marcoux Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Kirby,
    about “I definitely knew about much of this, but however, I still thought it turned out useful. Fine work!”

    Thank you.
    many joyful moments,
    Tom

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