Don’t have the right words? Here’s What Will Help You
November 1st, 2010
Today is the time to give flowers and kind words.
Ever get into a situation where you wish you had the right words? But they don’t seem to arrive, do they?
What are some important words?
* Is there a way I could help?
* Please forgive me when you can.
* I was wrong about ____.
* Thank you for ____.
* You’re right about ____.
* You’re important to me.
* I love you.
Many of us become afraid about not having the right words.
I’m suggesting that you have some words with an appropriate tone. Your tone of voice will do a lot of the communicating for you. So don’t let email try to convey the message. When it’s important, at least leave a voicemail so that your friend or loved one can hear your tone of voice.
By the way, realize this:
Doing something is better than zero.
I wrote my father a brief greeting card.
Dad,
Happy today.
Thanks for holding me to high standards.
It has made my life better.
Love,
Tom
So write a few words and send that to a loved one.
I’m going to model what I’m talking about and make this the shortest blog article I have written all year.
Good journey,
Tom
P.S. I wrote the above article, before I heard that my mother is in the hospital — so it reminds me that today is the day to share love, be kind, reach for your dreams and feel grateful for every blessing. [update: she is stable.]
P.P.S. If you’re in a crisis, please consider:
Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5
CEO,
November 1st, 2010 at 12:38 PM
Hi Tom,
I’m so glad to hear that your mother is stable-please keep us updated on her condition.
As you allude to in your post, at the end of the day, relationships should be our first priority in life. Interestingly, I had a conversation today with a friend who is going through a difficult time. He was ashamed about his situation – feeling that he would be judged. I didn’t have the perfect words, but I told him that true friends don’t judge, and that I was there for him in whatever fashion he needed. It wasn’t a long conversation, but he thanked me for supporting him.
What he needed was support not a perfectly crafted email…As always, your posts resonate with me…
November 1st, 2010 at 12:54 PM
Hilory,
Thanks so much.
So kind of you
many blessings,
Tom
November 1st, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Tom, glad to hear that she’s stabilized. I’ve lost several family members over the last ten years, and have become very aware of the need to express oneself NOW and not wait until “some day.”
November 1st, 2010 at 8:18 PM
Hi Tom, you are such a strong person full of wisdom and insight. I am sending all of my positive energy to you and your mom. I know the frenzy of what its like to have your mom in the hospital.
I agree with Hilory very much. I realized that it wasnt what I was doing so much as who I was surrounded by, that mattered. Friends and family mean just as much as passion and goals, if not more, because who will be there to help you reach those goals if not them?
Energy and blessings to you and your mom, come what may.
November 1st, 2010 at 8:36 PM
Tom,
I totally agree that sometimes it is hard to say in words or find the right words
to express yourself. However, I learned that a lot of times if you listen and you let that
person know that you are there for him/her and that you are thinking about them that
is enought to make that peron feel better. Using simple words as you said is better than
nothing.
P.S. I am glad that your mother is feeling better.
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:32 AM
Those are some words my best friend’s family should be trying to remember right about now.
I’m glad your mom is stable and I wish her a speedy recovery.
November 2nd, 2010 at 8:48 PM
Tom,
So sorry life is throwing curveballs.
I’m returning the positive thoughts you sent me earlier. =) You need them more than I do now, and I hope things look up soon.
-Chris
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:46 PM
Hi Tom,
It’s been awhile, sorry to hear about what’s going on with you, but glad that your mom is stable right now. Hopefully things will get better from here on out.
This blog made me realize how simple an action can be to have it mean so much. Reminds me of the time back in middle school (in Singapore) when I was having my final exams and my dad called (in Taiwan) telling me that my grand father passed away. I didn’t know what to say or do, instead I told him that I couldn’t go back because I was in the middle of my finals. After that, I realized the mistake I have made but never had the chance to correct it.
This reminded me of that day and reminded me not to make the same mistake again.
Best regards,
Kevin
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:20 PM
Kevin,
Thanks so much.
I hear you about being careful about avoiding the repitition of a mistake.
many blessings,
Tom
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:21 PM
Chris,
Thank you!
My mother is stable and I’m seeing her for hours each day.
Thank you for your kindness.
a great day to you,
Tom
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:21 PM
Katie,
Thank you.
many blessings to you,
Tom
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:22 PM
Sarah,
Thank you for your kind words.
blessings to you and loved ones,
Tom
November 3rd, 2010 at 2:23 PM
Dan,
I hear you about losing loved ones.
It reminds me to cherish every moment.
Thanks for your message.
good energy to you,
Tom
November 4th, 2010 at 6:30 PM
Judita,
First, thanks for your kind words related to my mother.
Yes – we’re all glad that she is stable.
About “Using simple words as you said is better than
nothing.”
Yes!
We can all help someone feel better by expressing kind, simple words
of appreciation or understanding.
many happy moments,
Tom
November 4th, 2010 at 10:45 PM
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
November 6th, 2010 at 6:25 PM
Hello Dita,
about “The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
I hear you.
I feel that we must pay attention and listen.
There’s a phrase: “Listen with your heart.”
This reminds me of the quote:
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” — Anne McCaffrey
good journey,
Tom
November 8th, 2010 at 8:12 AM
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
November 8th, 2010 at 12:57 PM
Tom,
So often do I find time to remember that I don’t have time to tell the ones I love how I feel. It’s the most common excuse I give myself and it’s completely wrong. What you said is so true. It’s the fear of not knowing what to say or saying the wrong thing. I tend to want to make things perfect the very first time or not at all. As was said above using simple words is better then nothing. It’s the thought that counts and they will know.
Your mother and family has been in my prayers since I heard what happened. I pray for her quick recovery.
Take care and talk to you soon.
- Daniel
November 8th, 2010 at 5:24 PM
Daniel,
First, thank you for your kind words related to my mother.
After a week, she is now at home with new medication.
I was at her hospital bedside for hours over the days. My father was with her 24/7.
I’m so grateful for the blessings.
about “So often do I find time to remember that I don’t have time to tell the ones I love how I feel. It’s the most common excuse I give myself and it’s completely wrong. What you said is so true. It’s the fear of not knowing what to say or saying the wrong thing. I tend to want to make things perfect the very first time or not at all. As was said above using simple words is better then nothing. It’s the thought that counts and they will know.”
Good point.
If we do not give a card or a phone call, our loved ones will not know that we care.
So yes, just a few words is truly helpful.
many happy moments,
Tom
November 8th, 2010 at 5:25 PM
Hello Nome,
about “Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!”
Thank you
the best to you,
Tom
November 9th, 2010 at 7:25 PM
Geez, does this sound delightful! I’m anxious to try it.
November 10th, 2010 at 12:26 AM
Hg,
about “Geez, does this sound delightful! I’m anxious to try it.”
I’m glad to hear that.
Thank you.
the best to you,
Tom
November 11th, 2010 at 8:44 AM
Thanks for this wonderful post.Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.
November 11th, 2010 at 8:18 PM
Weinbauer,
about “Thanks for this wonderful post.Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.”
Thank you.
many happy moments,
Tom
November 24th, 2010 at 5:52 AM
I am going to Tweet this post, awesome read!
November 26th, 2010 at 1:04 AM
Hello yonkers,
about “I am going to Tweet this post, awesome read!”
Thank you
the best to you,
Tom