Set People at Ease – Open the Door to Friendship and Success

October 26th, 2010

22 Comments

Go on . . . I love networking events . . .

Have you ever met someone and you could just tell that this person was shy and a bit nervous?

Have you ever felt shy yourself?

Wouldn’t it be great if something could happen to set everyone at ease?

Imagine that there’s something that seems small — but that makes a big difference.

You’re meeting someone new — what does the person want from you?

To feel comfortable.

How do you help that happen? As soon as you can do it in a sincere way, say, “I agree.”

Why?

Have you noticed that we all seem to spend a lot of time and energy in trying to prove that we are right about something?

But if you say, “I agree. It  is frustrating to be kept waiting when  . . .”, then you set the person at ease.

The person thinks, subconsciously, “Whew! I’m glad that’s done. I can relax.”

Use friendly body language. Smile gently. Nod. Lean a bit in the direction of the person.

These details reveal your message: “Hello. You’re an important person. I’m paying attention. And I’m listening well.”

And, demonstrate that you’re actually listening by asking a gentle question.

You could say: “That’s sounds frustrating. What did you do next?”

Setting a person at ease actually helps you feel better. Years ago, I felt uncomfortable about networking situations. Then, I learned to place my focus on the other person and to be a good listener. It’s made a tremendous impact in my life. Now, I know what to do.

I’ll listen well, ask gentle questions — and the person will enjoy talking about his or her own life. Ahhhhhh. Now, I can relax.

You’ll find this helpful.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid for Your Next Speech”
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Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

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and

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Categories: Double Your Sales, How to Be Trusted, Your Guide to Money and Abundance

22 Responses to “Set People at Ease – Open the Door to Friendship and Success”

  1. Hilory Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 6:00 PM

    Hi Tom,

    A timely post-whether one is seeking new employment, dating, networking for increased business or simply interested in enlarging their circle of friends. Placing the focus upon the other party is key.

    Remembering that the other person may also be feeling nervous or anxious. This will help to shift your mindset and they, in turn, will take their cue (albeit unconsciously) from your cues.

    And above all-enjoy the moment. Everyone has something to teach us…

  2. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Hilory,
    about “And above all-enjoy the moment. Everyone has something to teach us.”

    So true!

    Hilory, I went to your website http://www.diamondmediasolutions.com
    and I learned: “To be successful, all marketing activities require continuity – saying it once never does the job. Current estimates state that it takes 8-11 ‘touches’ before a customer will buy (including newsletters, blog posts, articles, video, social media, mobile marketing)
    That’s why Diamond Media Solutions offers structured ongoing programs designed to make sure your messages are reaching your prospects on a regular and repeated basis through the most effective digital media.”

    Sounds powerful.

    many happy moments,
    Tom

  3. Danek Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 8:26 PM

    I agree. People respond more positively to you when they feel at ease in your company.

  4. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 27th, 2010 at 12:12 AM

    Danek,
    about “I agree. People respond more positively to you when they feel at ease in your company.”

    How fun! — you’re using the method in your comment here :)

    The important detail is that we need to take ourselves out of
    “I’m proving my point” mode
    and place ourselves into the “I see you; you’re important” mode.

    Danek, I went to your website http://www.getfreepublicitynow.com/
    and learned that your book is entitled: You Can Be Famous, Insider Secrets to Getting Free Publicity

    And “Why should you Get Free Publicity? Publicity can bring you more sales and clients. And, because it has more credibility than advertising, you can offer your services, books and products for higher fees.
    Publicity establishes you as the expert. The “Go To” person.”

    Sounds quite useful.
    Congratulations on how you help so many people.

    good journey,
    Tom

  5. Judita Bacinskaite Says:
    October 28th, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    Tom,

    I agree that listening is very important communication aspect. It is really frustrating when
    you talk to somebody and they are not listening to what you have to say. Sometimes
    you do not want their opinion you just want somebody to understand, listen and be on
    your side.

    As you mentioned, if you feel like a person is shy you make him feel comfortable by
    either starting the conversation yourself or agreeing to what he has to say.
    At the same time if somebody wants to say something you let that person talk and
    express himself/herself. In other words you are giving 100% attention to the person
    not to yourself.

  6. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 28th, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    Judita,
    about “I agree that listening is very important communication aspect.”

    How fun — you’re using the method that I wrote about :)

    about “It is really frustrating when you talk to somebody and they are not listening to what you have to say. Sometimes you do not want their opinion you just want somebody to understand, listen and be on
    your side.”

    So true!

    It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that offering advice is “fixing a situation.”
    Many times, the best thing is to listen attentively and let the person find her own solutions.

    Judita, I went to your website http://judita.carbonmade.com/

    I learned about your ad “Designs that Endure”
    That’s a great headline!

    the best to you,
    Tom

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    November 8th, 2010 at 8:59 AM

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    November 9th, 2010 at 1:36 AM

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  9. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:21 AM

    Volbert,
    about “Hi! Your article rocks and is really a very good understand!…”

    Thanks.
    a great day,
    Tom

  10. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:23 AM

    Nome,
    about “this post is very usefull thx!”

    Thank you.
    a great day,
    Tom

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  12. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 11th, 2010 at 8:17 PM

    Sl,
    about “I really like your article, I will check again to look for new posts.”

    Thank you.
    the best to you,
    Tom

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    November 17th, 2010 at 12:39 AM

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  15. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 4:30 AM

    Winninger,
    about “This website is awesome. I constantly come across something new & different right here. Thank you for that information.”

    You’re welcome.
    a great day,
    Tom

  16. john Says:
    November 21st, 2010 at 1:39 PM

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  17. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 22nd, 2010 at 11:33 PM

    John,
    about “this i use”
    Sounds good.
    a great day,
    Tom

  18. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 29th, 2010 at 5:39 AM

    Wilkus,
    about “Great! Thanks for post”

    Thank you :)
    the best to you,
    Tom

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  20. Tom Marcoux Says:
    February 17th, 2011 at 1:35 AM

    Abram,
    about “Awesome site you have here by the way”
    Thank you.
    a great day,
    Tom

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  22. Tom Marcoux Says:
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    Burl,
    about “added this to digg”

    Thanks!
    a great day,
    Tom

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