October 26th, 2010
Have you ever met someone and you could just tell that this person was shy and a bit nervous?
Have you ever felt shy yourself?
Wouldn’t it be great if something could happen to set everyone at ease?
Imagine that there’s something that seems small — but that makes a big difference.
You’re meeting someone new — what does the person want from you?
To feel comfortable.
How do you help that happen? As soon as you can do it in a sincere way, say, “I agree.”
Have you noticed that we all seem to spend a lot of time and energy in trying to prove that we are right about something?
But if you say, “I agree. It is frustrating to be kept waiting when . . .”, then you set the person at ease.
The person thinks, subconsciously, “Whew! I’m glad that’s done. I can relax.”
Use friendly body language. Smile gently. Nod. Lean a bit in the direction of the person.
These details reveal your message: “Hello. You’re an important person. I’m paying attention. And I’m listening well.”
And, demonstrate that you’re actually listening by asking a gentle question.
You could say: “That’s sounds frustrating. What did you do next?”
Setting a person at ease actually helps you feel better. Years ago, I felt uncomfortable about networking situations. Then, I learned to place my focus on the other person and to be a good listener. It’s made a tremendous impact in my life. Now, I know what to do.
I’ll listen well, ask gentle questions — and the person will enjoy talking about his or her own life. Ahhhhhh. Now, I can relax.
You’ll find this helpful.
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