October 18th, 2010
What’s your first thought when you see someone you don’t like?
“Ugh, he’s here. What mean thing is he going to say today?”
“Oh, would she just go away?!”
How about with family members?
“She doesn’t care about my feelings.”
“What an angry person — always criticizing.”
Here’s a simple step that can bring so much more success, peace and connection to your life:
Let the first thought float by and let in a new thought.
Let’s look at the above thought “What an angry person — always criticizing.”
What could be another thought about this? How about:
“What a frightened person, who doesn’t know how to interact well with others.”
Some people would take this second thought (“frightened person”), and feel some compassion for that person.
Use compassion as your compass.
The idea here is that many of us have been conditioned to react to any stimulus with a judgmental thought.
With practice, our next thought can be a “discernment thought.”
Here’s the difference:
* Judgmental thought: puts you at a distance, puts you metaphorically on a high up bench, looking down on the person like your a superior “judge”.
* Discernment thought: helps you *recognize* that the person is trying to cope the best she or he can.
What does the transition from judgment to discernment (“recognizing”) get for you?
Peace, harmony, success. (Sounds good to me!)
So how do we make the transition?
We take a breath. Go quiet.
And let another thought arise.
If you’re still stuck in judgmental thoughts, ask yourself:
“How can I view this with compassion? How can I connect with this person?”
Judgment is not connection.
Judgment creates space and separation for other people.
So remember: just one more thought. Let that first thought flow by as if it were on a river.
You’ll be glad to enjoy more harmony.
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