Just One More Thought – Your Step to Success, Peace and Connection

October 18th, 2010

16 Comments

Imagine that you create harmony . . .

What’s your first thought when you see someone you don’t like?
“Ugh, he’s here. What mean thing is he going to say today?”
“Oh, would she just go away?!”

How about with family members?
“She doesn’t care about my feelings.”
“What an angry person — always criticizing.”

Here’s a simple step that can bring so much more success, peace and connection to your life:

Let the first thought float by and let in a new thought.

Let’s look at the above thought “What an angry person — always criticizing.”

What could be another thought about this? How about:

“What a frightened person, who doesn’t know how to interact well with others.”

Some people would take this second thought (“frightened person”), and feel some compassion for that person.

Use compassion as your compass.

The idea here is that many of us have been conditioned to react to any stimulus with a judgmental thought.

With practice, our next thought can be a “discernment thought.”

Here’s the difference:

* Judgmental thought: puts you at a distance, puts you metaphorically on a high up bench, looking down on the person like your a superior “judge”.

* Discernment thought: helps you *recognize* that the person is trying to cope the best she or he can.

What does the transition from judgment to discernment (“recognizing”) get for you?

Peace, harmony, success. (Sounds good to me!)

So how do we make the transition?

We take a breath. Go quiet.
And let another thought arise.
If you’re still stuck in judgmental thoughts, ask yourself:

“How can I view this with compassion? How can I connect with this person?”

Judgment is not connection.

Judgment creates space and separation for other people.

So remember: just one more thought. Let that first thought flow by as if it were on a river.

You’ll be glad to enjoy more harmony.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

and

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

and

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition
free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories: Double Your Sales, How to Be Trusted, Your Guide to Money and Abundance

16 Responses to “Just One More Thought – Your Step to Success, Peace and Connection”

  1. hilory Says:
    October 18th, 2010 at 5:38 PM

    Love the post, Tom! “Use compassion as your compass”-is perfect. It is the way I try to live my life. We don’t know the inner torments that might afflict another. Sometimes even those closest to us are unable to reveal certain details. If we give others the benefit of the doubt (as we would hope they would do for us), how different would our interactions be?

  2. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 18th, 2010 at 6:04 PM

    Hilory,
    about “Love the post, Tom! “Use compassion as your compass”-is perfect. It is the way I try to live my life. We don’t know the inner torments that might afflict another. Sometimes even those closest to us are unable to reveal certain details. If we give others the benefit of the doubt (as we would hope they would do for us), how different would our interactions be?”

    So true!

    I’ve learned to share with my sweetheart: “Your idea is insightful and helpful. I don’t know how to implement it yet.”
    Then, she knows that I’m seriously considering her suggestion.
    In this way, I create a “benefit of the doubt” and patient situation for us both.

    Hillory, I went to your website http://www.ultrafitnessdynamics.com
    and I noticed that there are a number of informative articles posted there –
    including “Financial Stress: An Overview”.

    Congratulations on how you help so many people.
    many happy moments,
    Tom

  3. Johanna Mac Leod Says:
    October 20th, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    Tom,
    I like your “just one more thought” idea.
    It reminds me of the Gandhi quote: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

    Johanna

  4. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 20th, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    Johanna,
    about “I like your “just one more thought” idea. It reminds me of the Gandhi quote: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

    Yes!
    I wish to see more harmony, more patience,
    more compassion, more love, and more wholesomeness.

    In my corner of the world, I make efforts to extend all of that
    when I handle my own internal disquiet.

    Johanna, thanks for your posting.
    many happy moments,
    Tom

  5. Danek Says:
    October 20th, 2010 at 1:03 PM

    Tom,

    Some good insights. Yes, it is important to recognize that many of the things that people do are to avoid or compensate for pain. Doesn’t justify what they do, but often does explain it.

    With this understanding, we can deal with them differently and perhaps even turn their attitudes and/or behavior around to something more productive and beneficial for all concerned.

    Keep up the good work.

  6. Tom Marcoux Says:
    October 20th, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Danek,
    about “Yes, it is important to recognize that many of the things that people do are to avoid or compensate for pain. Doesn’t justify what they do, but often does explain it.”

    I hear you.

    There are times when we can understand a situation and then call on
    our reserves of patience — so that we can avoid escalating the negativity.

    If someone is being abusive, then it is good to get away from that person –
    and perhaps, get professional help.

    In other situations, particularly with loved ones, a little extra patience
    can go a long way.
    Also, we can feel good about our own approach.

    Danek, I went to you website: http://getfreepublicitynow.com
    and learned: “I can help you get hundreds and even thousands of backlinks to your site to help it rocket up the Search Engines and bring tons more traffic to your site.
    One of my clients went to #6 on Google in 4 days and #2, 3, 7 and 9 in about 2 weeks.”

    Your work sounds powerful.
    a great day,
    Tom

  7. massage therapy Says:
    November 8th, 2010 at 6:06 AM

    Valuable info. Lucky me I found your site by accident, I bookmarked it.

  8. seotons Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 1:36 AM

    WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share. ;

  9. seotons Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 11:35 PM

    Fantastic article! I’ll subscribe correct now wth my feedreader software package!…

  10. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:24 AM

    Olshefski,
    about “Fantastic article! I’ll subscribe correct now wth my feedreader software package!”

    Sounds good.
    Thank you.
    the best to you,
    Tom

  11. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:25 AM

    Litman,
    about “WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share.”

    Thank you.
    many happy moments,
    Tom

  12. cash advances Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    Hey – great weblog, just looking around some blogs, seems a pretty nice platform you are using. I’m presently using Drupal for a few of my sites but looking to change one of them over to a platform similar to yours as a trial run. Anything in particular you would advise about it?

  13. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 13th, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    Buckle,
    about “Hey – great weblog, just looking around some blogs, seems a pretty nice platform you are using. I’m presently using Drupal for a few of my sites but looking to change one of them over to a platform similar to yours as a trial run. Anything in particular you would advise about it?”

    This blog uses Wordpress and a custom template from http://icrackerjack.com/
    Peter F. of icrackerjack.com
    is terrific to work with. He has excellent skills and he is friendly and pleasant.

    the best to you,
    Tom

  14. Peter F. Says:
    November 15th, 2010 at 5:40 PM

    Thanks for the shout out Tom, and keep the great blog posts coming!

    A good thing to remember is that our judgments are usually just a mirror of ourselves. It is a good opportunity to understand ourselves better, again, using compassion (not more self-judgment) as our compass.

  15. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:14 AM

    Nome,
    about “Valuable info. Lucky me I found your site by accident, I bookmarked it.”

    Thanks. I’m glad to hear that this article is useful to you.
    a great day,
    Tom

  16. Tom Marcoux Says:
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:44 AM

    Peter,
    about “Thanks for the shout out Tom, and keep the great blog posts coming!
    A good thing to remember is that our judgments are usually just a mirror of ourselves. It is a good opportunity to understand ourselves better, again, using compassion (not more self-judgment) as our compass.”

    Yes. Good point about “not more self-judgment.”
    Many of us have internalized critical voices from parents.
    Often, it would help if we’d encourage ourselves like we encourage our friends.
    good journey,
    Tom

Add a comment