July 26th, 2010
Ever meet someone who is “walking panic”?
It seems that many of us have a friend who just makes life more of a struggle. And they like complaining.
But that’s not you and me (Right? — right!?)
Life has given me a number of opportunities (okay, past problems) so that I had to learn about something I call “healthy humility.”
Healthy humility is a great alternative to “walking panic.”
I’ve learned to take a flexible stance and flow with life instead of allowing reflexive judgments cloud my thinking. How? Let’s say, I find it rude that a relative won’t take my phone calls. I let my thoughts flow by and allow other thoughts to enter like:
* I wonder what I can learn here.
* Maybe this person is just unskillful about handling upset feelings.
* What would I rather think about?
The rigid stance of insisting that other people “should” do something can block the flow of your intuition. How? Because nothing new can get in. And new ideas take form as a gift from your intuition. Take action with your new ideas and you may allow an inflow of financial abundance (Now, wouldn’t that be great?!)
How to Protect Your Energy
First, holding a rigid stance takes a lot of energy. Stop wasting your energy! Second, when you have access to your intuition, things start flowing the way you prefer with ease. That’s right. You can avoid struggle and the associated wasted energy!
With healthy humility, you have access to your intuition which brings amazing opportunities and even joy.
How? Healthy humility gives your flexibility. In essence, you are coachable by life, mentors and even friends. You realize that we human beings have a limited perception in the moment. It’s like a friend warning you about spinach on your teeth. And you say, “Thanks” — and remove the spinach.
Mistake: Consider that humility is to feel less than others.
Instead, we’re looking for you to stand shoulder to shoulder with others — while recognizing that each of us has limited perceptions in the moment.
Solution: To deem healthy humility as a non-demanding, flexible approach to learning and being in the moment.
We get into trouble when we have judgments that people should act in certain ways. Should people say “thank you” and “please”? Imagine that you just step back from a demanding stance and focus on having preferences. We all prefer when people say “thank you” and are courteous. With healthy humility, you just step back and let people be as they are. [It's true that there are times when people must step way from abuse and get professional help when needed.]
Healthy humility is also a gift because it lets you off the hook, appropriately. We don’t control a number of parts of life, including other people’s behavior and feelings. I remind myself with this phrase: “I don’t run that show.”
Healthy humility helps us live in the moment and feel better. How? We learn to add to our stream of thoughts, these phrases:
* I don’t run that show.
* I enter each moment fresh.
* I prefer (not demand) . . .
* I do not know
* I wonder . . .
* I wonder what I’m going to learn here.
Here’s the secret: the above ideas allow you to be flexible and avoid wallowing in upset feelings for most of your day. When you’re flexible and fun to be around, people easily and naturally bring you opportunities.
One of my book editors said, “Wait a minute, are you asking people to pretend there are no problems?” My reply is: “No! I’m suggesting that we become, in essence, strategic about how we use our limited time and energy. For example, a couple can say, ‘We’ll save that for our couple’s therapy session on Wednesday’ — and then they can enjoy better times throughout the rest of the week.”
Try healthy humility.
P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report
America’s Communication Coach
Author of Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm
Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5
Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO