How can you get someone to say ‘Yes’?

April 26th, 2010

12 Comments

Do you know how to build a bridge to someone and get a 'yes'?

Ever felt that your life depended on someone saying ‘yes’?

One ‘yes’ can change the next 5, 10, 25 years of your life.

Don’t believe me?

Ever ask, “Will you marry me?”

How about: “Will you publish my book?”

Years ago, I contacted a top agent — I mean top. Within one hour of receiving my book proposal, this agent called me on the phone.

That was promising. I jumped so high that I nearly dented the ceiling with my head.

But . . .

This agent saw my marketing plan (back then) and said, “No.”

Do you know why?

One reason: I did not have leverage.

Since that time, I have sold books to 15 countries.

My audio book Be Heard and Be Trusted is on iTunes.com and emusic.com.

The next time I contact an agent [Any agents reading this? It's worth asking.]
I’m going to bring details like 15 countries and other marketing accomplishments.

Now . . . listen closely.

The hidden secret to get someone to say ‘yes’ to you is . . .

Leverage.

Here’s what I mean. Leverage, as I trust you know, is putting little effort in and getting a big result.

Leverage is also power.

Why would someone marry you? Because you have the power to assist that person in having a happy life. [Okay, I know there are other reasons -- but let's leave diapers out of this discussion. Oops -- too late.]

In business, to gain leverage, focus on these 3 Golden Points of Leverage:

1) your network (your contacts . . . how many people are in your esubscribers list, connected to you via LinkedIn.com, Twitter, Facebook?)

2) you have special knowledge (you’re an expert; perhaps, you know current marketing trends)

3) you have access to target markets.

So when you make a presentation in search of the golden “yes” (in business), make sure that the person gets an experience of how you have the above 3 Golden Points of Leverage.

(About experience: Harvey Mackay demonstrated how well-connected he was by showing a publisher thousands of Rolodex cards of his contacts. Okay, about the cards, this was some time ago. Harvey achieved his goal: the publisher responded by printing 100,000 copies as a first run.)

Here are two more vital parts of getting someone to say “yes” to you:

* help her first

* make it easy and fun to help you

Help her first

There’s a Law of Reciprocity which holds that when you do something for someone, that person feels a pull towards being kind to you in return (to be reciprocal in the interaction). So get things off to a good start. Help the other person first. Some big business deals started with the gift of a pen.

(Small steps can lead to big leaps . . . that’s a phrase I like sharing with audiences . . . and I enjoy it when such good things occur in my life!).

Make it Easy and Fun to Help You

When is it easy and fun to help someone? First, we like helping those people who have been kind to us. Second, some people ask easy, small favors which don’t take much time. We’re much more inclined to say ‘yes’ to that kind of request.

[Avoid asking for too much, too soon. . . . Okay, you could ask but you'd likely burn the bridge before it was fully built and had flame retardant added.  Yes, I know, I'm stretching a metaphor . . .]

Finally, I want to emphasize, you can only get a “yes” — if you ask for the order . . . that is, you ask for what you want.

You might get a ‘no’ response, but you didn’t have what you wanted, anyway. And now, you have more experience. You might even ask, “Obviously, I made a mistake. What would have helped you to say yes to ______?”

Become skillful in gaining leverage and asking — and success will be your constant companion.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. So to get someone to say “yes” to you, remember these 3 details:
1) help them first
2) demonstrate your leverage
3) make it easy and fun to help you

———-

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of Nothing Can Stop You This Year – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

and

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

and

Be Heard and Be Trusted, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

 

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Categories: Double Your Sales

12 Responses to “How can you get someone to say ‘Yes’?”

  1. Dan Wilson Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    Quite true on all fronts.

    I especially would emphasize “make it easy and fun to help you”. This is something many are not good at, thinking that aggressiveness shows strength or that being a hard-ass shows discipline and a discerning taste. On the other side of the spectrum, there are those who work so hard to convince everyone, including themselves, that they aren’t worth helping. Modesty is a virtue, but there is a line between seeing yourself in the big picture and self-deprecating yourself into invisibility.

    Ultimately though, people don’t want to work with those they perceive as being “more trouble than they’re worth.” One might get the first job, or the first opportunity, but it’s unlikely they’ll get a second if they make everything miserable.

  2. Tom Marcoux Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    Dan,
    Profound ideas in your comment.
    Truly helpful advice.
    Oh – I visited your website http://www.radiostarnetwork.com
    I have truly enjoyed the hilarious improv work (I especially appreciate the show with the fantasy characters and dragon!)
    Thanks for your comment.
    much success and fulfillment to you,
    Tom

  3. Bryan Heathman Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    Tom – I am enjoying your work on persuasiveness. Your retail audio products which we have distributed to retail markets appear to be off to a great start! Keep up the great work and I can’t wait to see what is next.

  4. Tom Marcoux Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 4:31 PM

    Bryan,
    Thanks for your comment: “I am enjoying your work on persuasiveness. Your retail audio products which we have distributed to retail markets appear to be off to a great start!”
    And thank you for placing my audio program “Be Heard and Be Trusted” both at iTunes.com
    and emusic.com :)
    It’s a joy to work with you and your team at http://www.madeforsuccess.com
    the best to you,
    Tom

  5. Johanna Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    I really like the Law of Reciprocity. So many people just think of me, me, me and not of others these days. It’s also a great way to make friends when you give someone a favor too! While standing in line I had extra coupons and gave them to people next to me. I like the smiles of surprise!

    Johanna

  6. Tom Marcoux Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 7:58 PM

    Johanna,
    about “It’s also a great way to make friends when you give someone a favor too! While standing in line I had extra coupons and gave them to people next to me. I like the smiles of surprise!”

    Wow! How kind of you to share your coupons.
    It’s amazing that one kind gesture can create a ripple effect of good feelings from person to person — to person.

    Thanks for your comment
    and good energy to you,
    Tom

  7. Minami Takashima Says:
    April 28th, 2010 at 3:34 PM

    I like how you put the three important points to make someone say yes. It’s really easy to understand, and they are so true! In particular, “help her first” always works in the real life.

  8. Tom Marcoux Says:
    April 28th, 2010 at 8:02 PM

    Minami,
    about “I like how you put the three important points to make someone say yes. It’s really easy to understand, and they are so true!”

    Thank you for letting me know that this worked. :)
    As I was writing this, I realized that putting the 3 main points in the P.S. section would help.
    Also, researchers note that people tend to pay more attention to a P.S. section of a letter.

    a great day,
    Tom

  9. CNA License Says:
    May 2nd, 2010 at 10:39 PM

    Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!

  10. Tom Marcoux Says:
    May 2nd, 2010 at 11:12 PM

    Hello “CNA License”
    about “Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!”

    Thanks :)

    I appreciate your support.

    many happy moments,
    Tom

  11. MarkSpizer Says:
    May 3rd, 2010 at 12:32 AM

    great post as usual!

  12. Tom Marcoux Says:
    May 3rd, 2010 at 9:17 PM

    Mark,
    about “great post as usual!”

    Thanks :)

    many happy moments,
    Tom

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